Posted by: ImpendingDawn | October 1, 2012

Decay

You were the undisputed mastermind behind the world’s birth; the brilliant author of my existence. You created me; You formed my skin according to perfect molds, designed my brain with painstaking detail, shaped my heart and filled it to bursting. I found love in Your silent whispers and airy embraces, and Your Word filled me with passion and knowledge and joy and serenity.

How can I cast away these beliefs and convictions when once they were the foundation of my world? How can I accept the fact that my world might survive – is surviving – without its foundation?

Do You understand that You’ve made it impossible to love You? I delved into Your Word, I swear I did. I tried and tried and tried again. I’m still trying, I’m still crying, I’m still using and losing the mind I thought You gave me.

Is that a sin?

…Does it matter?

Does anything matter when you are the witness to the death and decay of a God? Does anything matter?

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